Thursday, January 31, 2008 ; common feelings

you could power a city with this
i am useless,i am a mess
i'm the smallest giant ever
i'm the smallest giant ever

dont know how long its gonna last
everything is moving fast
i'm the smallest giant ever
i'm the smallest giant ever

everything you've ever said is brilliant
everything you wanna do is fine with me
this is much better than love babe
this is a crush story~
crush story

better than love
better than love
better than love

misunderstand me hey
misunderstand me
i just want to lay my head in your lap
i just want to lay my head in your lap

everything you've ever said is brilliant
everything you wanna do is fine with me
this is much better than love babe
this is a crush story~
crush story

better than love
better than love
better than love
a crush story~
crush story

jixian was bored at 7:42 PM

Sunday, January 27, 2008 ; just like a goldfish

have you ever seen the goldfish,swimming about left and right in its own little bowl of water? paying utmost attention to its surroundings,the little stones,the pretty flower.so what if it has only an memory span of 3 seconds,its totally oblivious to the fact that everything it sees is essentially the same.there's only one day left now for me.to make my last decision.and which indubitably would cost $10.and it dawns on me that i am feeling like the goldfish now.pacing left and right without a clue to what i really want for the good of my future.in a freaking dilemma even i do not know how to solve.Poly-i indeed do have a course i intend to take,if i go into poly,which is chemical engineering.its way of studying is also much less intense than the rigours of a JC,wear whatever i want,whatever hairstyle,but its 3 years and i have to do exceptionally well to guarantee entrance to respected universities.JC-2 more years of wearing school uniforms,attending flag raising ceremony,which is entirely unnecessary in poly education.full day education with fixed hours.stressful environment.however with A level certification its easier to go into uni.plus its one less year than poly.both have their pros and cons.and im utterly trapped in between after my uncle talked to me about poly today.im already falling behind in my PAE period with work undone and whatnot.remembering what Ms.Choo[TPJC Principal] said about pre-u education.she said : ''choose what's best for you.understand yourself and go for it.no kind of institution is bad if its good for you''.and now do i truly understand myself? or am i still groping around in the dark on the basis of experiment to try and see what i really need? many questions are left unanswered.for now i only hope God can guide me onto this critical decision.there are many reasons why i'm writing this.and one of those should not be bothering me right now.it is a farcry from being related to studies.i should stop thinking of it.

jixian was bored at 9:47 PM

Friday, January 25, 2008 ; Yesterday

yesterday i went to TPJC late.because of the plethora of TJcians aboard bus 12.it was packed like sand on the beach.i could'nt enter the bus from the front.so i had to at the exit.opening the auditorium doors,i'm appalled at the enormity of the absent students at TPJC that day.the majority of the students were gathered in the center,while groups of outlaws huddled at the back,and at the sides.i belonged to a group of diaspora students and joined them at the side.then we were taken through 1hr30mins of physics.[Thermodynamics].thats that.and next almost all the boys in my class skipped P.E with the excuse of not bringing attire.but we really just hid the stuff in our bags.when school was released.i had to escort lim pon and isabella to the bus stop to take 34 to our spanking new T3 @ Changi.upon reaching school i sat by myself looking for past acquaintances who were making there way there too.o level results were releasing.and i could'nt help but notice an atmosphere of elation mixed with apprehension.but the latter was obviously shrouded behind those faces.sitting in the hall.i see so many different faces.those who had dyed hair,those who became darker,and those who became more handsome.weird that i should feel this way.after the principal's speech to rah-rah the crowd.and his revelation of positive statistics,everyone's spirits were lifted.till it was my turn to collect my results.i stepped quickly to Ms.Tang and saw a 15 point result slip,clutched in my hands,i didnt believe my eyes.15 points.was this a sign that i failed so much?there was nothing worse.till she called me around and told me i had taken the wrong one.what relief! so its decided.11 points for me.at that instant i was filled with regret that i could've done better for my sciences so i can attend VJ,of course.it was still a respectable result and i cant let myself linger in the throes of depression.so meanwhile,if anyone is reading this and you are free on saturday.please ask me out to do something.

jixian was bored at 5:34 PM

Friday, January 11, 2008 ; kayaking try-outs

this is the 2nd post of the day and they're like minutes apart.talking about kayaking tryouts which happened on wednesday.it was scheduled after school at 1.30 so i changed and with a group of my friends and the other try-outees we took bus 21 to bedok reservoir.unfortunately on the way it started raining.so when we reached we had to brave the rain to cross the road to the reservoir.we assembled somewhere near the PAddlez place and had a briefing about kayaking/canoeing.first,a warm-up run! so yeah guys 2 lines and girls also 2 lines and we start running on the tracks.my my.the running proceeded at a snails pace and i found out that even by walking i could keep up with the pack.what kind of running is this? gosh.so unprofessional.hmm.running in the rain.feels good.windy.cold and nice.with the little splatters of water on your face.an experience you dont get often.now then.after the run.GUYS GO HELP CARRY THE KAYAKS! okay so we went like remote controlled robots to the kayak enclosure.GUS CARRY THE WEIGHTS PLEASE! so yeah we ALSO carried the weights for the JC2's for their weight training while we were exempted.so? JC1's do 60 pushups lor.hmm wasnt too difficult.thought i'd fare much worse after so many months of rest and slacking.hm.later our teacher in charge Mr.Alex Chua(former NJC Canoeist) introduced us to the canoes.namely K1 T1 and C1.while on C1 you only row on one side.K1 is the norm for racing and competitions and so is T1 just that the T1 category was removed this year.and hey! the Nelo K1 costs like $4000+ which is so so so so so extremely unbelievably costly! im so lucky i got a single T1 to row in.so whilst the 1st group was rowing in the water and im in the 2nd group,a senior asks if anyone would like to try out the K1 which is this super super slim kayak you see everyone rowing at kallang river.so yeah my friend went forward to try it.and after a while he capsized even though the senior was holding on to the boat.and he went to try again.and he capsized again.so i wondered: how difficult can balancing the the kayak be? after a couple of more failures from some other people,it was my turn! so i get into the boat and as per instruction im supposed to keep my knees and feet together.and the boat REALLY is indeed unstable.the slightest movement could get you into the water.and for us humans its really normal for you to open your legs when you are flustered and nervous so i did a few times but luckily i didnt fall.just as i thought i was confident enough to move out on my own the senior let go and after like 2 secs i fell into the water.haha.it was definitely fun.gotta ask becky on sunday how she balances it (: later i got onto my own T1 and it was so fun yay.i maintained balance quite well and went on paddling.though sometimes i was a little shaky i didnt fall into the water again yay.so after my tirade at the reservoir which jun rui was jealous of cause she could'nt row as well as me and she capsized 7 times altogether.haha too bad :P we went for another run.and after that cooling down.then the captain told us canoeing isnt for those who cant balance schoolwork and CCA cause we go home real late and train almost everyday during competition seasons.and its so so true because i got home at 8.45 pm that day.but i was content.cause i got home to FOOD on the table.roast meat rice + lots of sushi at my disposal.haha.food paradise.so yup.rebecca gan asked me to bring a long stick on sunday so she'd teach me how to canoe.but its so weird to bring a long stick! yeah.ends canoeing tryout.plus im still having bad muscle aches.go away lactic acid!

jixian was bored at 7:43 PM

; tpjc orientation

hey guys,im back into school and now its at tpjc.even though its a long 40-minute bus journey away its okay (: first day of orientation started at 2jan,and man it was SO awfully boring.
first up,principal Ms.Helen Choo began with her opening speech for the new batch of eager JC1's.first it may seem that everyone is listening intently in the hall but i realized while my physical form was in the hall my neurological senses were miles away.so there were scores and scores of talks about new subjects later(KI,Theater Studies & Drama,China Studies,Economics) and then there were these CCA introductions and stuff.anyway im in OG 35 yeah! and my OGL is Wai Wan from my school,its comforting to have a senior in the group.hmm.i totally forgot about the icebreakers.so we played Wacko(yes i know,its so been-there-done-that) but no choice la.maybe it was not challenging enough for my intellectual mind but that's okay.i'll take a chance.hmm.16 people in my group.13 girls 3 boys.what proportion right! now let me introduce everyone.let's go,alwina,siong min,priscillia,amirah,hamaiza,idy,rachel,alfresco,me ^^,sze shi,fiona,wendy,xiu rong,qiu ting,shi hui and jian ming.alot hor.AND! my family name is Zeus.yay.i shant talk about the rather shallow cheers which we were expected to say.and after all these cheering and stuff we went to have a tour of the college.to this day its still confusing to me where the blocks are.lets move on to the 2nd day.i reached school a little late,but no worries.there were no hiccups.more more and more talks ensued in the 2nd day and then briefings on discipline and stuff.then hmm.some games (: hold the spaghetti in your mouth with another partner and run 50 metres,the 4 legged race with 6 people,cheering competition and stuff which with my age has already been forgotten.well in this time i got to know some people,not all.given my conservative and reclusive nature.just a lil talking here and there.and yes.gotta tell you about xiu rong.she's like the tallest girl ive ever met.even taller than joycelyn who is already 2cm taller than me.i think she's prolly like 175cm++ la.thats freaky.im kinda bored now and i have to write the 2nd entry for today.so your orientation ends here.bye : D

jixian was bored at 7:15 PM